RuPaul Celebrates Confederate Heritage

RuPaul seemed bemused by all the controversy surrounding her wearing a dress that featured the Confederate flag wrapped around her curves.

“Honey, they just don’t understand,” she laughed.  “Don’t they see I’m celebrating the Confederacy?”

Say what?

“Let me tell you something,” RuPaul replied.  “The Confederacy was a stand in favor of freedom and liberty, a protest against dictatorial tyranny.  Its slogan should have been ‘Free to Be You and Me!'”

She paused, then smiled.  “I’m simply honoring my Confederate heritage.  Surely you’ve heard of all those African Americans who responded to the call for arms to defend their southern homeland.  And did you know where many of them lived?  Why, New Orleans!  There isn’t a more diverse place on earth than New Orleans, and it was the Confederacy’s most important port!  To this day, sweet southern boys come down to New Orleans to have a good time, wear beads, and do all sorts of things during Mardi Gras!  Surely you’ve heard of Mardi Gras?  It’s my favorite southern holiday!”

RuPaul walked over to the window.  “Back in 2009, I wore a pair of pants fashioned from a Confederate flag.  Someone asked me about it.  I just wanted to remind them … that the South will rise again!”  She laughed.

“The Confederacy was a diverse, multicultural experience.  Look at it.  Hispanics fought for the Confederacy.  So did Native Americans.  So did Jews.  It was the Rainbow coalition of rebellion!”  She giggled, then winked.  “And don’t you think some of those southern boys in gray just might have been gay … or simply fabulous and flamboyant?  How else do you explain those Zouave units?  And, may I remind you where the Tiger Zouaves came from?  Why, Louisiana, of course!”

She whipped out the following picture:

“Look at these sweet southern boys!  Those baggy pants … it’s as if they were wearing pajamas!  And yet they were the prize of Confederate manhood!  What would we think if we saw someone like them walking down the street today?  Would we call them ‘normal’ … or “deviant’?”

“People need to understand … the Confederacy welcomed everyone, regardless of race, religion, or sexuality, into its ranks.  Robert E. Lee never rejected recruits, and he placed no restrictions on them.  Surely you know that when Jefferson Davis was captured by the Yankees, he was wearing his wife’s shawl.  Even in his darkest moment, he was determined to remind us of our diversity!  Sure, people made fun of him, just as they make fun of me.  That’s part of the heritage I’m committed to celebrate and commemorate!”

She shook her head in disappointment.  “Yes, I know.  Some people claim I’m a ‘deviant.’  Sweetheart, do you honestly think they are ‘normal’?  How dare they impose their values on the rest of us!  How dare they dishonor the richness of our past!”

RuPaul reminded me that she was not the only entertainer to remind us of southern diversity. “Remember this?” she asked.

“Look at what it says … Mississippi, 1870.”  She smiled.  “The South is not simply what some people say it is.  It’s all of us.”

“Look,” she concluded, “I’ll take my stand against my critics.  Some people always want to tell us what to wear.  Don’t wear a hoodie, don’t wear a dress.  Conform.  Be boring like us.  But if they can wrap themselves in the Confederate flag, so can I … and I wear it better!