Coming to an e-Bookstore … Sometime … Maybe …

It’s always interesting to see what a struggling fiction author who been reduced to self-publishing her own infrequent work plans to do next … or down the road (perhaps way down the road). I’m sure many of you can’t wait to read what will come next from the keyboard of this Pensacola-based author and maker of many dust jackets:

Chastain Book One

One would think that all the author (who wants to be called “C. L. Ward” for the moment … don’t want to associate this sort of stuff with “Chastain,” right? Ashamed?) needed to do was to weave together a series of her blog posts, although that might be fantasy fiction (not unlike that self-published by one of her dear friends).

But wait … there’s more:

Chastain Book 2

Oh my.

We can now expect to be treated to a series of posts talking about this forthcoming work that will prove longer than the forthcoming work itself … if indeed this ever appears. We’ll have false accusations made by someone who made a name for herself decrying false accusations. And, just to show where the author’s mind is, she offers this telling observation:

Hehehe, guy even has on a BLUE hoodie… Amazing, what you can find on stock photo sites.

What is it about people in Florida when it comes to a person walking on the street and wearing a hoodie that suggests that the person will be violent (and thus must be stopped)?

And, finally, we now have a look at the lovely couple who seems to be the target of all this aggression:

Chastain Book ThreeAnother woman in red attire (this one seems to have a problem holding a Confederate flag in a respectful way) … and a poor casting choice for the Tripp Lewis character. Really? How predictable.

Well, I guess if a picture’s worth a thousand words, we must already be approaching 3,000 words for this latest foray into moonlight and magnolias.  Even her rants on her blogs don’t usually go that long.

The whole thing reminds me of someone who once speculated about the reaction to a book review he had yet to write about a book he had yet to read. Or publicity campaigns about books not yet read by publishers who are responding to criticisms of a publicity campaign by someone who has not read the book in question.

At this rate we can dispense with writing altogether. We can promote books we’ll never write, discuss reviewing books we’ve never read, attack critics of books by saying they’ve never read them, and so on.

At least I made you read this. 🙂

UPDATE: But wait … there’s more. The author, realizing that she had violated the copyright provisions of the source of some of her images, decided to edit her last post (and add more information about that book that will be forthcoming …. someday):

Chastain Book four

BigStock should find this interesting, given the author’s interest in providing images over prose. And I’m sure readers can offer a better model for “Sydney.”


It will be a helluva novella. Fun indeed … it will be to literature what the I-95 flag is to Confederate heritage … hard to find.

42 thoughts on “Coming to an e-Bookstore … Sometime … Maybe …

  1. Thomas December 10, 2013 / 3:48 am

    Pretty riveting stuff, I’m on the edge of my seat in anticipation already.

  2. Schroeder December 10, 2013 / 7:44 am

    The anticipation of this novelette is overwhelming me at this moment. I will begin saving my $2.95 to purchase “The Boy in the Blue Hoodie”. Oh my.

    • Brooks D. Simpson December 10, 2013 / 11:52 am

      Kanye West is interested in buying the film rights to the book.

      • Thelibertylamp December 10, 2013 / 4:10 pm

        Oh gawd, and then Rob Walker will attempt to shoot it and we won’t have enough coffee or Red Bull to stay awake through it…

  3. Jimmy Dick December 10, 2013 / 8:02 am

    Please have this printed on Cottonelle’s brand of bathroom toilet paper. It is the brand my wife prefers to use. Charmin is fine as well.

    • Brooks D. Simpson December 10, 2013 / 10:21 am

      Cottonelle Connie Charmin Chastain … has a ring to it.

  4. Rob Baker December 10, 2013 / 9:59 am

    I hope a character is based on me. Oh pleeeeeeeease let me be famous.,

    • Thelibertylamp December 10, 2013 / 10:16 am

      Well, Rob…do you own a hoodie? I have vegetable chopper, but it’s a Komachi and it’s pink…I got the whole set at Costco for like $30!

      I also have a hoodie, but it’s not blue, it’s black and it’s in the laundry basket…

      • Rob Baker December 10, 2013 / 10:48 am

        I wrestled in college, of course I own hoodies. But I don’t match the character profile, I’m not from the North.

          • Rob Baker December 10, 2013 / 11:43 am

            Dear God. I should have known the book is about you.

          • Corey Meyer December 10, 2013 / 12:01 pm

            I have been a thorne in Connies side since about 1998…of course it is about me. I think she has finally gone off the deep end with this one.

          • Brooks D. Simpson December 10, 2013 / 12:07 pm

            Are you kidding? She knows exactly what she’s doing. It’s not as if Alabama was an accidental choice.

          • Thelibertylamp December 10, 2013 / 12:01 pm

            I would picture Cory donned in “Snake Plissken” attire …

        • Thelibertylamp December 10, 2013 / 11:14 am

          I have one with Venom logo on it if you want it!
          It is a zip up hoodie, but not a pull over.

          Do they have stock photos for zip up black hoodies with venom logos on them?

    • Brooks D. Simpson December 10, 2013 / 10:22 am

      “Along our villain’s trek along abandoned highways leading southward, he encounters a damn scalawag from Georgia who becomes Robin to his Batman.”

  5. neukomment December 10, 2013 / 9:59 am

    Well now…. That sparks a story idea in my mind….. Demented Radical Neo-confederate heads north to the Michigan-Ohio border to take revenge on the descendants of an abolitionist family that aided in the escape of slaves from said Neo-confederates plantation owning ancestors….. What do you think? Do we have a story here?

    • Brooks D. Simpson December 10, 2013 / 10:24 am

      No neo-Confederates will admit to having slave-owning ancestors (or they’ll claim that the ancestors treated their slaves just like family, which in some cases they were, at least biologically).

      • neukomment December 10, 2013 / 10:41 am

        You are very probably right about that Dr. Simpson. But the story I have in mind would be written by a Yankee who would never let “historical facts” get in the way of a good story. (All said tongue in cheek for any who happen to read this and doesn’t “get it”….)

  6. Thelibertylamp December 10, 2013 / 10:09 am

    Why would anyone want to walk 100’s of miles down a highway…with a vegetable chopper…to a place that probably doesn’t have an Indian or Ethiopian restaurant?

    Maybe the vegetable chopper was to teach the neo-confeds how to prepare and cook healthier vegan foods?

    Maybe they are going to Alabama to cook up a big pot of vegan chili?

    Connie really doesn’t know her anti-racists/Anarchists, does she?

  7. Jefferson Moon December 10, 2013 / 10:16 am

    I have never considered reading any of Connie’s fiction because I’m just not interested in romance stories,but this story sounds interesting, may try it.

  8. Bob Huddleston December 10, 2013 / 10:18 am

    So the villain is a guy in a hoodie. Can’t see his face but from the hand holding the knife, it appears he is black. My gracious — where is Zimmerman when you need him……

    • Brooks D. Simpson December 10, 2013 / 10:19 am

      I think he’s wearing a black glove. If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit.

  9. Thelibertylamp December 10, 2013 / 10:53 am

    Reblogged this on The Liberty Lamp and commented:
    We wanted to avoid mentioning this person on our blog but this is too funny…

    • Brooks D. Simpson December 10, 2013 / 11:51 am

      It’s all part of Connie’s campaign to stir up free publicity for a book she has yet to write. She’s finally found an audience.

      • Thelibertylamp December 10, 2013 / 11:56 am

        Well, even clown acts need an audience … we all need something to laugh at…

  10. Roger E Watson December 10, 2013 / 12:47 pm

    I just pre-ordered this. Can’t wait !!!

  11. Jefferson Moon December 10, 2013 / 12:47 pm

    Just speculating on the story line.I would think the yankee doesn’t fair well in the end,unless theres a plot twist and the yankee ends up being converted to southernism by the love of a good Christian southern hoochie.Don’t think Connie will be able to get away from the romance.

  12. jfepperson December 10, 2013 / 1:04 pm

    I used to live in Alabama—maybe it’s about me! Nah, I barely register on her radar 😦

  13. rortensie December 10, 2013 / 1:35 pm

    Wait, “back in the 80s I used to cut them out of catalogs.” What the heck?!?! That there is copyright infrigement! That is probably the reason WHY she has to self publish because no five-and-dime publisher would even touch her material. Its a wonder that she hasn’t had a copyright suits filed against her yet….

    • Brooks D. Simpson December 10, 2013 / 1:50 pm

      Well, as we’ve seen, she had to backpedal on that with her use of images in his exercise. Thus her explanation when she reedited the entry and tried to conceal that she had removed the watermark.

  14. John Foskett December 10, 2013 / 2:40 pm

    Uh oh – Belichick’s walking a sideline in Florida this coming weekend.

  15. Schroeder December 11, 2013 / 8:55 am

    I like the idea of the hoodie Yankee villain being “taken” by a southern belle… Can’t resist those pantaloons – possibly, Connie will be the southern belle who lures this young Yankee into her web of lusty desire.

    • rortensie December 11, 2013 / 11:06 am

      I’ve always been a sucker for a Southern belle. That accent!!! Also, I’m currently wearing a hoodie because of the reduction in the heating thanks to our wonderful government reductions. I need a Southern belle mistress to keep me warm during the day at work….

  16. Nightflyer January 29, 2016 / 11:20 am

    Well, two-plus years later, I have to ask…how did this clumsy, heavily-labored plot, and its clumsy, h heavily-labored antihero, come out?

      • Nightflyer January 29, 2016 / 2:34 pm

        The book never came out? Anybody check Amazon? I’ll do it in a few minutes.

  17. Nightflyer January 29, 2016 / 2:46 pm

    No, it’s not on Amazon. Nor on Google. My guess: She never wrote it.

    I have a pal at work who is one of our writers — been doing it for 35 years — he says there are armies of people who “love to write, but have to drag themselves to a typewriter.” That means they all want to be Stephen King, going on book tours and TV interviews, making movie deals, and appearing at the premiere with their trophy wife, but have neither the talent nor the will to actually sit there and undertake the death struggle of actually writing.

    C.L. Ward is one of them. She dreams of rolling in the profits and awakening hearts and minds from her story, but doesn’t have a clue on how to tell it.

    And my pal is NOT going to help her out.

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