Get That Girl a Map for Christmas!

In a fumbling effort to disguise the fact that Susan Hathaway no longer flags outside the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts in Richmond (’cause she’s skeered), the sole Pensacola Flagger offered her handful of readers what she thought was a geography lesson:

ConniePoorMap

Unfortunately, she misplaced Richmond on the map (the dot is much closer to Southampton, so perhaps she wishes to honor Nat Turner).  I have no idea why West Florida’s bleeding.

By the way, it’s a bit less than 900 miles. If she drove I-65/85/95, it would be 854 miles, and that’s not a straight line.

Now you know where Richmond really is.

Besides … Susan wasn’t in Richmond, anyway. That would mean she was at the VMFA, and she doesn’t go there any more … because she’s skeered.

Maybe the Gulf Coast Flaggers West Florida Flaggers (sic) will invite Susan to Pensacola to speak. Susan’s very good at that sort of thing … especially if H. K. Edgerton’s not available or someone didn’t meet his price.

I note that both Susan and Connie are wearing shades … an effort to disguise their identities? Next: a red turtleneck for Connie, who might want to update the frazzled look she sported decades ago. Maybe she lacks a sensahuma, capisce?

So someone buy Connie Chastain a map. Maybe it’s her poor sense of direction that explains why no one else showed up for her first flagging experience.

 

One thought on “Get That Girl a Map for Christmas!

  1. Bob Nelson December 26, 2014 / 3:57 pm

    Now, now, Brooks, you need to be kinder and gentler to these ladies. When I visited the Shenandoah Valley a couple of years ago with my friend Pete Taylor, I am absolutely positive that we ran into Connie and Susan at a bar in Winchester. I recognize the sunglasses. Don’t ask me to divulge details. Let’s just say it was a very interesting evening.

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