Most people familiar with American popular culture as rendered through television know something about “The Dukes of Hazzard.” That show has been in the news in recent weeks, when a television network specializing in reruns decided not to air it any more.
That sparked some controversy. Leading the charge was someone near and dear to readers of this blog, Ben Jones, who played “Cooter” the mechanic in the show. Ben’s had a colorful career since then, including serving in the United Sates House of Representatives. He’s currently the chief of heritage operations for the Sons of Confederate Veterans, coming aboard just as the SCV had to confront the removal of replica Confederate flags from Lee Chapel at Washington and Lee University.
Everything I know about Ben from personal contact suggests that he’s a fine fellow who knows his baseball, but when it comes to these issues, we disagree a great deal, and his appearance here on this blog several years ago did not go well for him (although he deserves credit for making the effort). I also know that he continues to be proud of his work on “The Dukes of Hazzard,” including lending the name of his character to a string of stores known as “Cooter’s Place.” These stores are owned by Ben and his wife, so he ought to know what they sell.
Thus it occurred to me to find out what sort of Confederate flags are sold by the store owned by the man who is the chief of heritage operations for the Sons of Confederate Veterans.
I don’t recall that even Stand Waite or John Ross approved of this flag.
This one confuses me. Aren’t you supposed to shoot deer? Are you supposed to shoot the flag? Or is this a wildlife preservation message? I can’t tell.
Nor can I identify the unit that deer flag honors. Same here:
I’m supposed to hook the flag and reel it in?
Well, perhaps this is a tribute to Confederate logistics and what might have been. 10-4, good buddy.
This is a traditional favorite. But I’m puzzled as to the Civil War connection. Perhaps it’s an artillery flag (red being the color of the collar for artillerists’ uniforms, as seen here.)
So much for regulation headgear.
Really? Maybe this commemorates Burnside’s Mud March, but I wonder.
Whatever floats your boat … but I don’t think smiley faces were placed on real Confederate battle flags. Rather, it sends the message that someone’s day is a brighter one if he offends others. Send one to Connie Chastain now.
There are more, but you get the idea. Or maybe you don’t. Want a Confederate flag bikini, for example? Click here. Swim trunks? Click here. Want to sleep under the flag? Click here. Want to go formal? Click here. Want to be the Confederate answer to David Cassidy? Click here.
And to you want to try your wet, sweaty body with the Confederate flag? Click here.
I was unhappy not to find this for sale.
And that, folks, is how to honor Confederate heritage and the service and sacrifice of the Confederate soldier and sailor. Tell ’em Cooter said so.
Note: Not all the images offered here are the images presented on the website in question … because some of them really weren’t very good. I wanted you to enjoy what was there with the best images of the merchandise possible. Upgrade your site, Ben.
Crossroads 
You might want to ask Mr. Jones this question: Have your residual payments as an actor gone up or down now that The Dukes of Hazard has been banished from cable? The economics of Prohibition is fascinating; in the country’s last experiment the winners were the Federal bureaucracy and the heirs of Joseph Seagram and Samuel Bronfman, It may well be that what Mr. Jones lost in income from TVLand has more than been made up by the sales of DVDs now that his show’s emblem has gone bootleg..
To reinforce what you’ve said, the real winners in our last experiment with Prohibition were actually the mafia, which entered a golden age of skyrocketing profits. Meanwhile the Federal bureaucracy spent an obscene amount of money attempting to keep alcohol from the American people and failed miserably, as they were bound to do. Our government doesn’t realize that it can’t truly control supply and demand. Americans tend to be slow learners in this department.
They talk a good game, but that’s about it. In practice they disrespect their own symbols and allow them to be disrespected by their own crowd, and don’t even get me started on the assortment of racists they are afraid to confront (that’s a strategic move, of course, can’t go angering their base!). It’s pretty obvious what Bens apparent true concern is, Confederate dollars! It’s a supply and demand business, and as long is there is demand, I’m sure Ben will be around to help with the supply.
Give Jones this much — he’s selling a tangible product. Most heritage activists simply want you to give them money, with little or no real accountability for what it goes to.
Let’s give the Flaggers a little credit though. Here’s Grayson Jennings hyping a $300 armload of stick flags in one interview (“Just don’t tell my wife”), and unloading them at the tomato festival in another (“People are scared they are going to ban the flag, and everyone wants them”).
God those flags are ugly. Fitting, I guess.
In addition to its hillbilly connotation, the word “redneck” can signify seventeenth-century Scottish Presbyterians, who wore red scarves around their necks to protest bishop rule. Some Southerners claim Scottish heritage (especially the League of the South types) and so in this case “redneck” would appeal to their supposed roots. But I suppose you can’t rule out the possibility of a flattering reference to Johnny One Tooths of the world.
The Fighting Trout Detachment of the Confederate States Marines?
I note that Connie Chastain has decided to share her opinion, for what it’s worth. She has no problem with the chief of heritage operations for the SCV selling these sorts of flags. She points out that there are US national color equivalents (in a desperate effort to screech and whine about hypocrisy, the usual Chastain way).
I don’t think either the US flag or the CSA flag should be treated this way (I don’t see how that’s hypocritical). Apparently Chastain does. Otherwise she’d take Jones on. Guess she’s skeered … just like she continues to be skeered about suggestions that Tripp Lewis is Anonymous CSA. The silence of the Virginia Flaggers and their screeching mouthpiece on this issue is telling. They must be skeered indeed.